The First Love

If i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
1st Corinthians Chapter 13, verse 1.

I never had a problem loving. As we get older we tend to learn things about ourselves, and I always knew that I had a great capacity to love. My love for my parents, brother and sisters and my two lovely nieces is a fire that burns within me. Even a potential love for a family that I do not yet have leaves me in awe. I love my friends in different ways; I love everyone that reads these articles. Perhaps I get it from my father who has one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. Call this the brotherly love.

The Romantic love I have done as well. I’ve loved when it wasn’t convenient or necessary, when it wasn’t chic or fashionable. I have even surprised myself by the things that I have done on the spur of the momentous occasion of love. Love has a way of bringing out the best in us. 1st Corinthians Chapter 13 comes to mind. Love makes us patient, kind, love makes us endure. I am sure we have all endured much on account of love.

Now what do I have to say after all of this loving? I mean, how noble of me don’t you think? Well not much actually, because for a long time I let my love for all these wonderful people, and all of the wonderful things I aspired to do deemphasize what should have been my first love after all: My love for God. Not that I did not love my God, he knows I did. But it was not the burning desire that my love for others was; and THAT my friends was the problem.

As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship thee…

Don Moen, paraphrasing David whom the bible calls: A man after God’s heart.

The bible calls David “A man after Gods heart”. I think it is the highest honor for a man to be called this. When one reads the story of David, it isn’t hard to see why God had a soft spot for him. God took David when he was still a Shepard boy, anointed him and set him upon a path that would see him defeat the mighty Philistine Goliath with a mere sling. A path that would see him become the next King of the house of Israel in place of Saul.

I believe that God chose David because David was humble, and had a lot of love in his heart. The love that David had for his family is exhibited when the bible tells us that David saw the Philistine Goliath taunting the Israelites when he went to give food to his brothers camped in the soldiers tents.

The love that David had for his friends is exhibited in his friendship with Jonathan, the son of Saul. Even though Saul tried many times to kill David, it never tainted David’s love for Jonathan. They remained fast friends until the very end.

The love that David had for his enemies is exhibited in the way he loved Saul who tried to kill him time and time again. In the 1st book of Samuel the bible tells us of how David spared the life of Saul, not once, but twice! In Chapter 24, the bible tells us that Saul, while hunting David went into a cave to relieve himself. David came close enough to Saul that he cut off a piece of cloth from Saul’s robe. But David did not harm Saul. The bible tells us that as Saul and his men were leaving, David went after him and called to him saying “Your Majesty!” the bible tells us that Saul turned around and David bowed down to the ground in respect “Why do you listen to people who say that I am trying to harm you? You can see for yourself that just now in the cave the Lord put you in my power. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I felt sorry for you and said that I would not harm you in the least, because you are the one whom the Lord chose to be king. Look, my father, look at the piece of your robe I am holding! I could have killed you, but instead I only cut this off. This should convince you that I have no thought of rebelling against you or of harming you. You are hunting me down to kill me, even though I have never done you any wrong. May the Lord Judge which one of us is wrong! May he punish you for your action against me, for I will not harm you in the least. You know the old saying ‘Evil is done only be evil people’. And so I will not harm you. Look at what the king of Israel is trying to kill! Look at what he is chasing! A dead dog, a flea! The Lord will judge, and he will decide which one of us is wrong. May he look into the matter, defend me, and save me from you.”

My friends after typing this and rereading it, I am at a loss for where to begin. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind, so many lessons to be learned, so many experiences that I’ve had that beg me to sink into a sober reflection on my own life. But by God’s grace I will continue.

David’s love for Saul is evident enough. David calls him Father, and refers to himself at the end as a dead dog, and a flea. Despite the many attempts Saul had made against David’s life, despite the fact that the very existence of Saul threatened that of David, David let him live. David tells Saul that it is he who God has chosen to be king, showing us his humility and lack of worldly ambition. My friends, David could have justified the slaying of Saul under a number of different umbrellas including that of self defense, but David had an immense love for Saul. But above all, David had a love and respect for God…

As we see in the passage David knows that Saul was anointed by God, and knew that he could not lay a finger upon he whom God has chosen. More than a love for Saul, David had such a deep love and respect for God that he knew that even though Saul was evil, because God chose him, he could not be the one to spill his blood. This, my friends, is what made David a man after God’s heart. This is why God chose David to be king.

If you continue to read up to 2nd Samuel Chapter 1, where David learns of the death of Saul and Jonathan, you will see there written David’s Lament for Saul and Jonathan. This lamentation has seared my heart over the years, I read it when I was a boy, marveling at the love that David had for Saul and Jonathan. Feeling the emotions of David as he said “Saul and Jonathan, so wonderful and dear; together in life, together in death; swifter than eagles, stronger than Lions. I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan; how dear you were to me!”

As I read this all those years ago, I never knew that in a time yet to come my elder sister would marry a man whom I would love though I would never meet. A man who would die tragically and suddenly; and I never knew that at his funeral there in the bulletin would be a poem of mine; there in the bulletin an imitation of David’s lament.

For as David began by saying: On the hills of Israel our leaders are dead! How the mighty have fallen!

I would begin by saying: Incomprehensible was the news that arrived without warning, uncompromising in it’s truths of how the mighty had fallen.

I loved Kelechi although I never met him, and I thank God for the inspiration given to David on his lament for Saul and Jonathan. An inspiration that helped me put into words (In about 5 minutes due to time constraints) a lament for Kelechi.

But David’s love for Saul and Jonathan was all well and good, but this is about his, and indeed our love for God. Because you see the bible tells us that God is a jealous God, and we cannot put anyone on the same level as him.

In Matthew 10 verse 37 Jesus says “Those who love their father or mother more than me are not fit to be my disciples; those who love their son or daughter more than me are not fit to be my disciples”.

I began this by speaking of the immense love I have in my heart, and how that was the problem. Well there you have it. I love my nieces (Kelechi’s kids) so much. I adore my Parents, my brothers and sisters….and all of my friends and relatives. In many ways I tried to live a life of service to these people, but my love for God was not as emphatic as it ought to have been. Not because I should have loved all these wonderful people less, but because I should have loved God more! And when like David we have a deep burning desire for God, our love for others is even more magnified.

So yes, I was very good at loving, but I had my loving priorities just about as wrong as they could get. Family and friends have let me down, people whom I loved and trusted. And I am sure that I have let people down as well (We humans are good at doing these things to each other). Because my brothers and sisters, we humans are not perfect and have our different weaknesses. Furthermore, we all have our own different priorities, things that are important to us, and sometimes when you are no longer a persons priority your need for them is not considered when they leave. Friends whom we learn to lean upon are gone from our lives in an instant, family members whom we love very deeply sometimes pass away and die. All of this coming and going! It is the way of the world, we do it to others and it is done to us, and so the cycle of life continues. But my brothers and sisters I am here to tell you that the one constant is God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He ought to be our first love. He is our creator, our provider, our protector, our shield. He has done more for us than we can ever comprehend, he will do more for us than we will ever know. This world is not easy you know? There are many people whom we love dearly that will come and go, many will let us down, but the one who helps us get through is God.

I urge you: Do not diminish your love for others. Let it grow. But let your love for God, your desire for God, be even greater at all times. When you want to do for someone, ask what you have done for God, and if doing for the person is in line with doing for God then go ahead and kill two birds with one stone. Take the example of David, who uttered these beautiful words “As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee…” Long for God, long for his word, for his spirit, and you will see even your love for others become even more fulfilled.

My friends I have poured out my heart to you. I have said all that I have to say; all that God has given me to say, there is nothing left. Love the lord your God. Your hurts are mended, your emptiness is filled, and you will find new meaning in the phrase “The joy of the lord is my strength”. To God be the glory forever and ever, amen. God bless you all.

HEARTS

The beating of a heart is no ordinary thing …
A fleetingly observed motion tucked deeply within
As a pin drop upon a silence that becomes audible to my ears
When the breaking of this heart becomes cardinal to my fears

Of the breaking of a heart many artists will sing
Taking it apart with words that try to explain
For the giving of this heart was the one and only sin
As forgiving all you can fails to numb any of the pain

The giving of a heart is the noblest of gifts
A princely offering hardly given on a whim
But granted hearts are often taken for granted
The shinning exception is when you give your heart to him

Why not give your heart to he who gave you a heart?
He that put it in your chest behind ribs to protect it…
Fall in love with Jesus and you will never ever regret it

For he gave us ribs to protect the heart that beats…
But his tender loving care will protect the one that feels

By Wendu Nwakanma 12:20am 02/05/07