To Forgive Is Divine

So lately I have been thinking about forgiveness. I am not the most forgiving person I know, if there even is such a thing. If there was such a thing as a most forgiving person, that distinction would probably go to my late grand ma, who was aptly named Mercy. She lived a life that was most compassionate. She had enough love in her heart to go around all 9 of her children, with more than enough to spare for other people’s children as well. But no, I do not think there is such a thing as a most forgiving person.

We humans are very diverse in terms of the things we can and cannot tolerate. We could be forgiving about certain things, and remarkably unforgiving about others. We are all familiar with the saying “To err is human”, we humans constantly struggle with the issue of forgiveness everyday because true to our human nature, we constantly err. We Christians struggle to reconcile the issue of forgiveness to our faith. I will use myself as an example.

There are times when someone does something to me that I feel is unjust, and I openly seem to take it in stride. If they apologize I say “It’s okay”, and if they do not I tell myself I have forgiven them and I carry on with my life. A casual observer may remark at my apparent display of poise and forgiveness, but there are those times when that observation is wrong. Because we humans often connote forgiveness with silence and acquiescence, we think that when someone displays these qualities in the face of a grave injustice, then they have displayed forgiveness. Sometimes it is true, but other times it is not.

My confession is that there are times when I may be silent and calm about a wrong done to me, I may not even be angry or feel any agitation, but deep down inside I know I am going to find someway to make them regret what they did. More often than not, I accomplish this, not by doing anything in retaliation, but by not doing something I would have normally done for them. And amidst my shortcoming I stumble upon a meaning of forgiveness: Treating a person as If they never did anything wrong, even though they did; treating a person as if they have asked for your forgiveness, even though they haven’t.

Obviously this is easier said than done, but it can and must be done. It can be done because the bible teaches us that God will never put any temptation before us that we cannot overcome (The temptation to not forgive), it must be done because we need to forgive a wrongdoer much more than the wrongdoer needs our forgiveness…because if you think about it…well don’t forgive them if you like, the only one whose forgiveness they care about is God’s.

Our lord talked about forgiveness quite a bit in the bible. In Luke Chapter 17 vs. 4 he tells us that “Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns and asks for your forgiveness, forgive him”. When he taught his disciples to pray he said “Forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us”. And as our lord and savior lay dying upon the cross…he set an ever shinning example when he said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”.

Let us examine these three examples one by one.

1) The Limitless nature of forgiveness: How many times have you asked God for forgiveness? Many of us never kept count to begin with, and even if we did we would have lost count many years ago. Personally, I ask God for forgiveness all the time, for things done knowingly, and unknowingly. And he always forgives me. I know he forgives me because of the certainty I feel in my heart when I receive his forgiveness. I know he has forgiven me because the bible says that even when we are unfaithful he remains faithful. If we cannot even recall how many times we have asked God for forgiveness, who are we to say we’ve “had enough” or “reached our limit” with people?

2) “Forgive us our trespasses”: When our lord taught the disciples to pray, he said “Forgive us our trespasses, even as we forgive those who trespass against us”. Even as we forgive those who trespass against us…You see many times we ask God for forgiveness, while still consciously or subconsciously holding grudges for wrongs done to us. The bible says that God is not to be mocked. Asking for God’s forgiveness when we haven’t thoroughly searched our hearts and forgiven those who have wronged us is tantamount to mockery. Because God sees all things and there is nothing hidden from him. Our lord could have just said “Forgive us our trespasses…” and left it at that. But no, he saw it fit to include the part about it being a forgone conclusion that we have already forgiven those who trespass against us. And true to his nature, as he died on the cross, Jesus forgave those who were currently trespassing against him...even made more egregious by the fact that he was crucified by those he came to save, by those he created, on a tree he created. But he still found the time amidst his suffering to say…

3) “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”: If our lord Jesus Christ can ask his father to forgive his murderers, even as they mock him and gamble for his clothes, can’t we find it in ourselves to try? Our very salvation depends upon it.

Forgiveness is never really an easy task. Half the battle often lies in coming to realize that we have not forgiven a person. It is even made more difficult by the fact that some people make it difficult for us to forgive them. They antagonize us, abuse us, act as if they did nothing wrong…but we must always remember that forgiveness is also something that we do for ourselves. Furthermore, we must never be too self-righteous to rule out the possibility that if we analyzed the situation, we may even have forgiveness to ask of them as well.

We live in a very cynical world; a world where everyone wants Justice yesterday, for wrongs to be done tomorrow. But in early October, the shooting death of 5 young Amish girls by a gun wielding man who allegedly had a history of child abuse gave us a sorrowfully refreshing insight into the power of forgiveness.

The Associate Press, CNN, MSNBC, and other news networks gathered in the small Amish town in Paradise Pennsylvania, expecting to hear an outcry of outrage and a demand for the man’s head. What they found instead was quite the contrary. Here are some quotes from the girls’ relatives.

One man said “ I don’t think there’s anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way, but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts”

One girls’ grand father told the press “We must not think evil of this man”

Another close family member said “If you have Jesus in your heart and he has forgiven you…how can you not forgive other people?”

The lesson here is that it is our Christian duty to forgive. Forgiveness is not easy, but we weren’t called to be Christians so that we could live easy lives. Forgiving someone does not mean that we should allow ourselves to be taken advantage of, but we should always make sure that they know they are forgiven, by our words and deeds.

Let us follow the example of the Amish. They didn’t just whisper to their pillow at night “I have forgiven this man”, but they reached out to him and his family. That he didn’t ask for forgiveness was no concern of theirs. Forgiveness is more than just saying we have forgiven, forgiveness is reaching out; forgiveness is a continuous state of being.

So let us mean it when we ask God for forgiveness, asking with a clear conscience and knowledge that we have offered forgiveness in everyway we can.

Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth even as it is in heaven
Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses,
Even as we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For thine Is the kingdom, the power and the glory
Forever and ever, Amen.

Suffering Children...

When we speak of children, we speak of ourselves. When we speak of children we speak of God’s gift to the world, and even more personally, God’s gift to us. Children represent everything that is good in humanity; they represent the absolute pinnacle of the purity that God expects from each and every one of us.

One of the great ironies of life dwells in the perplexing fact that, though it seems on the surface that the human life can be charted as a journey of growth from childhood to adulthood, the blemish-free innocence of childhood is ultimately what we must strive for even as life and old-age takes us farther away. Matthew 18:3: Unless you turn to God from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of heaven. Therefore, anyone who humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven.

It is akin to reaching for something that you are being pulled away from, because we get older everyday, but must retain our inner child to be who God wants us to be.

I have always been fascinated by the fact that every single adult in this world was at one point in time a child. I often look at the elderly, in open bewilderment, marveling at the wonderful work of God that makes it true that this elderly person was at one time a bouncing baby.

I was inspired to write this when listening to a song by Don Moen titled “None like you”. In the song, there is a phrase that goes “Suffering children are safe in your arms”. From the moment I heard it, it stuck with me. You see this world is not without tragedies, and it is true that there are a lot of people living in hardship. And unfortunately, children being a part of this world often take their share in the suffering along with everybody else. Hardships do not appropriate their suffering according to size. Children often suffer for the mistakes and wickedness of adults. Though their hands are as clean as freshly fallen snow, though in their innocence they are hardly aware that they are suffering, children face by and large the same hardships that adults face all over the world; but they face it with a joy and grace that few adults can ever boast of.

When greed and corruption drives down the economy of a country, when men play at politics that bring about wars to different parts of the world, it is the children of the world, weak and fragile as they are that are usually the first to fall. Who stands up for the children? When decisions are being made, be they political or economic, does anyone ever ask the question: What about the children?

There are so many questions that we as humans fail to ask ourselves. For instance: If you are my enemy, are your children, oblivious as they are; my enemies as well? Cases of ethnic cleansing where even unborn children are murdered in their mothers’ wombs, say all that really needs to be said.

Naturally, when one observes the fact that in the bible, Jesus loved and admired children, it is easy to ask the questions: If God loves children so much, why do they suffer so? God can do anything; can he not make them immune to suffering? Is there any lesson that a child can learn from suffering? I will tell you of a child that lived and died at the age of 12. He was my cousin, and the first death in my family that I was old enough to cry about.

His name was Chidiebere, which in my native language means God is merciful. When we were growing up, he was always different from all the other children. You see Chidiebere was handicapped in more ways than one. He was born with sickle cell anemia, which back in the 80’s was more devastating than it is today, due to breakthroughs in modern medicine. From what I can remember his case was severe. His eyes were extremely yellow, and he was often sick. As if that was not enough, Chidiebere was also born with a deformed left hand. But Chidiebere loved to play. My fondest and maybe only memories of him are when we used to play in the village, and he would smile with a mouth full of sand. He played so much, despite his physical limitations.

One evening, his mother came to our house looking for my father, her brother. She was so frantic that you could tell her need was dire. I remember her eyes were pure red, as she asked “Where is your Daddy?” Chidiebere had fallen sick again, and had been rushed to the hospital. When my Father came home we gave him the news, and he immediately rushed to the hospital where my cousin was being treated. All night we anxiously waited for my Father to return, and when he finally came back I remember he looked worn and exhausted. Perhaps I already knew; but I still walked up to my father and asked after my cousin. He looked at us and knew that we deserved the truth. So all he said was “Chidiebere is gone”. That night we shed our tears, and as the months and years went by, we all moved on and probably hardly thought about him.

When I decided to write this, I thought about all the Children I knew who have suffered. I thought about a little girl I know, who had to have painful surgeries because she suffered a head injury during childbirth, I thought about my own nieces who will never know their father, and then as God would have it, I thought about Chidiebere. A child who was born deformed, and with a chronic sickness, only to live a life of suffering and have his life cut short as a result. As I thought about these disheartening things, I was all of a sudden struck by the irony in my cousins’ name. Chidiebere: God is merciful. The fact that one, who lived an apparently merciless existence, bore such a name, spoke volumes to me.

So here goes….Thousands of innocent Children die everyday, God is merciful. Thousands more live in poverty and sickness, God is merciful. Thousands more will never know their parents, God is merciful. God is merciful because he is the keeper of our eternal souls. As surely as being a child of God does not guarantee a trouble free life, even children most endure the same hardships to be found in an imperfect World. What the blemish free innocence of Childhood does guarantee, is an eternity in heaven. We have hope, we have faith, we believe that we are only in this world for a brief time, and our real lives only begin when we enter into God’s kingdom. Suffering Children will live a thousand years in heaven, and not be closer to the end of their stay than they were when they first entered into God’s kingdom. This is God’s mercy.

A friend of mine recently came back from Ethiopia, and knowing that she had been involved in some work with Children, I told her that I was writing this piece, and asked her to write something about her experiences and the Children’s foundation that her family is developing. She was kind enough to oblige and I posted it below for everyone to read. But I think it is worth noting that she and I spoke about this at the most improbable of places: A night club! And as her excitement and love for Children shone through, as she raised her voice over the DJ’s music, I had a conviction and a revelation.

My conviction was t hat any place is a good place to talk about good things.

My revelation was that I have done absolutely nothing to further this cause that I so eloquently speak about. In fact like a lot of people, I have always been nonchalant towards causes that may benefit Children. When the tsunami devastated many parts of the world, my Company offered to match every employee’s donation dollar for dollar, but I didn’t donate a dime. I simply never stopped to think about it. When Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans and other parts of America, my Company made the same offer, and I never lifted a finger to help ease the suffering of thousands, including Children. I was too busy with everything but what really mattered. I, like many other people, find it easier to give when the need is in front of us: Homeless people staring us in the face; or a hungry child in need of help, but most of the tragedies that occur, occur many miles away from us. I should have done more, and to the extent that we can, we should always “Be eager to do good”. I will try to do better next time. We should all try to be better now, and ease the suffering of Children in anyway we can. Give what you can, and if you cannot give, give the greatest gift of all: Your prayers. God bless every single child in the world today. Amen.


Child of this world, why do you look so sad and teary?
Sir, I cannot find my mother, and though I’m young I’m weak and weary

EXPERIENCE
This summer, I had the opportunity to travel to Ethiopia. It was a bittersweet experience, mostly because I left Ethiopia at a young age where I have positive memories. I knew a country where people take pride in being from one of the two African Countries that were never colonized, the birthplace of Lucy (Dinkenesh)- the first hominid who stood up to reach for the skies, and the kingdoms of Axum & Lalibela. I left/knew an Ethiopia where people walk you to your car if you go over to visit (announced or unannounced). I left/knew a country where everyone is your aunt and uncle, where you played with everyone in your neighborhood despite the class/ethnic differences. I always boasted about the past history, its beautiful lakes, rare birds, and ‘rarer’ wild animals. Above all I argued with and hated the media as well as most people that think of a country stricken by long periods of wars and poverty.

Before my travel, I had two goals. One was to see old friends and family members I haven’t seen in over ten years. The second was to learn more about my mother’s new kindergarten that opened prior to my arrival she is trying to turn to a kids center. I heard her mission- read her project proposal, but I was not ready to experience Ethiopia and see why her vision really needs my support. Although I read and kept current in new events and friends, going back and watching six and seven year old Ethiopian children beg for quarters & food gave me chills. It filled my heart with sadness, and for the most part I felt so helpless encountering ‘beggars’ of all ages. Some kids sell tissue papers, candy and gums at stop light. But it is apparent by looking at their innocent eyes and their admirable effort to make a living that there is an extreme poverty that could really crush them.

Ethiopian kids, like other African children- lay the ground work for a tragic drama that only God can explain and I for once really understood my mom’s effort and work. The kindergarten opened with twenty kids, one teacher and one helper last year. The center added 20 more kids this school year (Ethiopian school year starts in September) with 15 orphans and 5 other kids. It is a battle to pick the poorest of the poor in that area (how do you pick between the needy?) but it has to be done for financial reasons. This project by all means is not big yet, but the vision behind it is. The center does not take donations from the public as it is not recognized as non profit agency yet, however, the family and few friends work hard to maintain it.
As for me I am beginning to see my purpose in life and come to love two verses from the bible in regards to how I relate to my God:
1. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
2. "But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind." Luke 14:13